Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Starting off...

We found out at 16 weeks gestation that our daughter might have Down syndrome. This is where our story begins...

The Day Our World Stood Still...
August 18, 2010
I  paced the floor all morning waiting on THE phone call. Would the nurse call and say everything was negative or would they say the dreaded words “you need to come in to the office”?  When the phone finally did ring I froze. Was I ready for this? Could I handle the news one way or the other? I answered and it was the nurse, she said, “Amber, we need you to come in to the office.” Tears sprang to my eyes and I told her I was getting in the vehicle as we spoke and would be there in less than an hour. I was in a daze. I remember it was raining terribly and the song “the River” by Garth Brooks came on the radio and then the hysterics hit. I called my mother at work to tell her that the Dr was having me come in to the office so she said for me to pick her up from work on my way there and she would go with me. We knew what the Dr was going to tell us but I was still hoping for a miracle. The entire way to the Dr I kept praying that maybe they found something wrong with me. Maybe I was sick but my baby would be fine. That she would be healthy and happy and I could deal with anything that God made ME go through, as long as my daughter was safe from harm. I knew this was far fetched because that is not what the amnio tested for…
 I got to the Drs office and started crying all over again as I walked in to the waiting room. The nurse brought me in to a room and hugged me as she handed me a piece of paper. I looked down at the paper and it was the web address for the National Down Syndrome Society. I cried as my heart sank in to my stomach and the nurse hugged me more. My life changed with that one little piece of paper.
 She left my mother and I alone and gave me time to grieve for the life I thought I would have had, that I had dreamt of having. Everything I had pictured for my life had been wiped clean. Where would I go from here? Who was I supposed to turn to for help? There were so many questions and for my own self preservation I went in to planning mode. It was the only thing I could do to keep myself from falling apart.
 Soon my Dr came in and started discussing the diagnosis with me. He did inform me that even though he knows I do not want to he has to let me know that I had the option of aborting the baby up until 19 weeks. I was horrified! There was no way on Earth I would abort my child. I had seen her heart beating and watched her move her little arms and legs. She was my daughter and she was perfect! In that realization I knew I would be ok, it would be a very hard and long road…but I would be ok.
 The rest of the appointment was a bit of a blur. I left the Dr’s office and headed back home, dropping my mom back off at work along the way. As soon as I got home I started researching our local Down syndrome resources and found that we had a Mobile County Down Syndrome Society. I jumped on the phone hoping and praying that someone on the other end would understand the turmoil that my heart was going through. I didn’t get to speak to someone immediately though. They gave me the name and number of a family in the society to call…
 ...and that my friends was the first day of the rest of my life.


  1. I have been following your journey on Fodor's ever since your post "Our Angel has Down's Syndrome." Your strength is a never-ending source of amazement! Thank you for sharing your heartaches, triumphs, and most of all, your beautiful daughter!
    AKA tenthumbs

  2. Beautifully worded. The day your world stood still is a great describer of how your entire everything changes with the announcement of something that in the beginning is thought of as a curse but in reality its probably the biggest blessing you will ever have. You amaze me every day. Your strength and outlook are inspiring. You're an amazing mama!

  3. brought tears to my hearing your story and all the amazing things little Violet is teaching you...she's teaching us too! you're doing an amazing job.

  4. I love reading all your blog post. This one however made me cry. I have forever been touched by you and Ms. V even though I haven't met you in person. I sit here rocking our sweet little girl and relize just how blessed we are to have 3 healthy and happy little girls. I watch every video you post of V making it to another milestone and cry as if she was mine also. You are such a strong family and V is such a lucky girl to have a mom and dad like you two!!